We all want to be happy. I mean, who wants to be sad or mad? Growing up, our parents try to do everything in their power to make us happy. They try to shield us from disappointment. They do all this out of love. But- the hard truth is that life is not always happy. We need to be equipped and ready when disappointment, heartbreak and unhappiness comes our way. We need to know how to react in these situations.
Disappointment and hurt can come from many areas. A friend gossiping about you. Maybe you didn’t make a sports team you tried out for. Your girl/boyfriend broke up with you. You didn’t get into the college you were hoping for. You feel left out. You feel like you don’t have a voice. Maybe it is something that cuts even deeper. Your parents got divorced. You lost a parent. You lost a sibling. You or someone close to you are diagnosed with a serious condition. These are all heavy things. They are heavy for anyone of any age but especially as you are growing into adults and trying to find your way.
For me, I had a pretty easy life. Married my high school boyfriend and had 2 kids and a great job. When my son was diagnosed with an unknown serious condition that would surely shorten his life, I was not prepared. I was mad at God. How was this happening? I am a good person, try to put others first, have made pretty good decisions my whole life, heck, I work at a church! Where was God in this? Whew- talk about tough. My son’s journey took me through 14 years of learning to find joy in our unfortunate circumstances. I learned that kicking and screaming didn’t change anything (although it did feel good every now and then). Feeling sorry for myself or shutting others out just made everything worse. I was forced to face the fact that these were the cards we had been dealt-how were we going to handle them? I leaned into God and scripture.
One scripture that really hit home with me was John 16:33
“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Notice, it doesn’t say -you MAY have trouble, it says you will. When that trouble comes, we need to be ready for it. We need the belief that Jesus came and experienced trouble as well. The Son of God had heartbreak and anger and disappointment. Jesus also died on the cross for us so that we would have eternal life. He is with us through every step of our lives. The good and the bad. Every disappointment and heartbreak here on Earth is temporary. That is what we need to hold onto. No matter how hard our chapters are, Jesus is with us and the end of our story is victory!
Ok, so what does this actually look like in life? I think we need to slow down and look at the disappointment or hurt we are going through. Is there something to learn from it? Is there something you can change about yourself to prevent this from happening in the future? Is this a relationship that needs to end or is it something you need to work through? In the big picture of life, how big is this, actually? Is this a situation out of your control that you need to grieve? What would Jesus say about your situation? No really… If Jesus was sitting next to you, what would he say? I also think this looks like allowing ourselves to feel what we are feeling and kick and scream for a minute if we need to. The key is to not stay there. To get back up and say “okay Jesus- let’s do this!”
Each time we experience less than happy situations and try to learn from them, it changes our perspective a little. We get better at remembering that this is temporary and Jesus is right next to us every step of the way. We get better at depending on God and not our situation. So what are you going through right now that seems hard or even impossible? How does knowing that God is walking alongside you change your perspective? What can you learn from this? What advice would Jesus give you if he was sitting next to you having Starbucks?
